This post is a continuation from last week. To read the original post, click here:
Being “dumped” always hurts. However, it is important to realize that part of your pain may be the feeling that you were rejected, rather than having true love suddenly withdrawn.
Your ex may have done you a favor by ending your partnership and forcing you to re-evaluate your situation. You may
be disappointed that things didn’t work out with your ex, but maybe your partnership
was more habit than genuine love.
Separate yourself from the relationship for a while, and then ask yourself what you miss. Is it your ex’s personality and actions, or is it just the security of feeling desirable because you had someone?
If you can look at your own feelings objectively, you may find that you are better off without your ex, and that your needs can better be met by another person. Don’t settle for a situation just because it is habit.
Most of us don’t want to be alone. It is much easier to go back to someone familiar because we don’t have to leave our comfort zones to take up where we left off.
The problem is that there is usually an element of incompatibility in any relationship that ends. What you have to decide is whether you are trying to hang on because you are afraid of trying something new, or is it truly the relationship you want.
The best way to make sure you are getting something good out of the situation is to take your time. Don’t rush back to your ex just because it is an available option.
If you act too quickly, you are likely to end up with the same problems and frustrations that prompted you to go in the first place. Even if she apologizes for the behavior that broke the deal for you, people are creatures of habit, and you would do well to make sure she has changed hers before you give your happiness back into her keeping.
Finally, you would do well to get counseling before you return to him. An objective third party can help you identify the things you and he need to settle if you are going to make it in the long haul.